Honeymoon Practice
by ImaginedInsanity
Summary: Hermione doesn't want to screw things up on their honeymoon. She wants to be able to please Ron and do it properly! Practice makes perfect, right?  Only dirty if you want it to be!


**This is another one of those fanfics I found lurking in my Documents folder. Basically, A friend and I would give each other an hour and a pairing with a sentence long prompt. This one made me laugh quite a bit. Its amazing the crap I can write in an hour!**

**I know I write Glee now, but if you're a Potter fan, I love you even more :P**

"I don't want to, Ron!" Hermione shrieked.

"It's okay, 'Mione, you just grasp the end firmly and hold on tight! You'll like it I promise! There's no feeling like it in the world!" Ron calmly encouraged her, stroking her hair as she sat there wobbling.

"I tried once at school remember? I hated it! It doesn't feel nice at all! You never know when it's going to just shoot out! I always forget to hold onto it properly!" Hermione was panicked now, and it wasn't helping that Ron was grinning at her.

"You just need to focus on what you're doing. If you stop worrying about when it's going to shoot off, you'll have a much more enjoyable ride, I promise!" Ron smiled up at her, wiping away some tears that had dripped to her chin.

"But what if I slip off the end?" Hermione questioned him, staring terrified into his eyes, "What if it hurts me?" Her big brown eyes filled with tears again, and Ron moved a little to steady her.

"You're adorable when you're frightened, Hermione Granger," he chuckled. "Bellatrix Lestrange tortures you and you don't cry a bit, but this has you in floods. If you want to be able to do this for our honeymoon, you need to start practicing now, sweetheart," Ron implored her, as he held her face in his hands.

Hermione sniffled a little and nodded at him.

"Thatta girl," Ron smiled, "Remember, you had no trouble getting it up this time, and that's a start!" he nodded at her encouragingly. "You've just got to keep your courage, 'Mione. Don't close your eyes. I know you're going to want to, but that's how people get into trouble, and we don't want that now do we?" Hermione shook her head so fervently that her whole body shook, and Ron held onto her more tightly.

"Just think, when you've learnt how to do this, we can get married and go on our honeymoon. I can't wait to marry you," he finished with a whisper. Hermione looked at him. He knew that their honeymoon was an incentive for her to learn, and even though this was something he would always enjoy more than her, she wanted it to be something they could share together.

Hermione steeled herself and grasped it firmly. She nodded to Ron to let her go, and she slowly moved it around in a circle with her atop it. Ron was right, keeping her eyes open was important. As long as she kept her head, she could see how this could be a little enjoyable. She made a little circle around Ron's head then he caught her up in his arms.

"That was great, 'Mione!" Ron grinned at her exuberantly and kissed her. Hermione hadn't expected kisses as rewards, but she wasn't going to complain. She threw her arms around Ron's neck and kissed him back, moving her lips against his and feeling safe.

She felt something moving between her thighs, and made a desperate move to untangle her hands from around Ron's neck, but suddenly Ron's new Nimbus had shot off of its own accord, and Hermione was falling, and Ron was tumbling after her.

Hermione landed in the dirt with a thud, and Ron did his best not to crush her as he landed on top of her. He looked down at her and broke into a fit of laughter. Hermione huffed at him.

"That was your fault, Ron Weasley! You distracted me! Now get off me!" Hermione pushed at his chest to try to move him. He smiled at her.

"I don't much feel like moving 'Mione," he said languidly, shifting his weight so she was more comfortable. He stared at her lips. She parted them a little, darting her tongue out to moisten them; they were suddenly very dry.

"Ron?" she whispered questioningly, as his hand was running over her stomach. He moved his head lower and kissed her collarbone, then her chin, then her forehead, then her nose, then, when Hermione was almost dying with expectation, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

Then he got up.

Hermione was dumbfounded. He was just going to leave her hanging? She sat up indignantly as he placed the broom in front of her.

"Now you know the reward system," he grinned at her. "Now let's try again."

She would show him! Hermione confidently leapt to her feet, and said "Up!" and the broom jumped into the air with no hesitation. Hermione threw a leg over the broom and let it take her weight. Then, she kicked off from the ground.

Hard.

She soared upwards and she could hear Ron's panicked cries from below.

But she kept her eyes open, and kept her cool, and she knew that she could do this. It was easy. And Ron was right, it was fun! She searched for Ron on the ground and gave him a little wave. He whooped happily at her, and leapt around. She grinned to herself in the air, wondering what her reward would be for this. Maybe Ron would take...

Suddenly the broom shot forward, out of control, and Hermione was panicked.

"RON!" She screamed, and she closed her eyes, terrified.

Suddenly she was being whipped this way and that and she could hear a tremendous rustling noise, and suddenly her feet were touching something solid and her fingers were grasping onto something tangible, rather than air.

Hermione held on tighter than she had ever held onto anything in her life, and it was only when the rustling and snapping noises stopped that she dared to peek; and she wished straight away that she hadn't.

She was perched in the tallest tree in the orchard at the Burrow, so high she could see Harry and Ginny, hands entwined as they lay on Ginny's bed in her room. Hermione looked down and screamed. She must have been five storeys up in the air! Ron had run over to the foot of the tree and was calling up to her.

"'Mione! Are you alright, honey? Can you get down?" his voice was panicked.

Suddenly Hermione heard laughter coming from nearby. She held on tight and peeked around and saw Harry and Ginny standing at her window, roaring with laughter at her.

"Oh you hush up!" She screamed at them, "Ron Weasley this is your fault and you'll be lucky if I even look at you, let alone marry you after this!"

Hermione stamped her foot a little in sheer frustration as she clung to the branches securely. She heard the broom fall beneath her, but she was afraid to look directly down. Unfortunately this left her with the only option of watching Harry and Ginny, arms around each other as they stood there amused at her predicament.

Hermione started to try to shift her weight a little so she could grasp a different branch to turn herself around. But she was shaking so much that as her hand grabbed the new branch, her foot slipped and suddenly she found herself clinging onto a branch with nowhere to put her feet.

"RON!" Hermione shrieked, "HELP! GET ME DOWN!"

Hermione's eyes were shut tightly, but it didn't help that Harry and Ginny had abruptly stopped laughing and were calling out to her concernedly.

Hermione's hands were sweaty, and suddenly she fell, screaming, only to be caught quickly by a pair of strong arms. Ron.

She grasped to him tightly, sobbing into his chest.

"Oh, Ron!" she sobbed, still with her eyes tightly closed.

He hugged her to him, kissing her frantically.

Every part of her he could reach got a kiss.

When they finally reached the ground, Hermione was breathless again.

"I think we might just Apparate around Italy for the honeymoon," he breathed into her lips.

**I couldn't stop laughing when I found this! What did you think? :P**


End file.
